Random Reminiscence of the Day

We’ve been chatting on the WELL about Mexican food and when we first encountered it (I won’t even try to explain how the topic drifted there — we were talking about sustainable food practices and somehow we veered to this), and I wrote the following, and I feel like cutting and pasting it here, too.

I grew up in Southern California and can’t remember back far enough to know when I first had Mexican food. It was very much part of the landscape — tacos were a regular meal at home and in the school cafeteria, quesadillas were an option for a simple quick snack, there were nice restaurants where my family went sometimes and there were hole-in-the-wall places where I’d get a cheap lunch on my own or with a friend.

When I moved to New York City in the 1980s, there seemed to be one Mexican restaurant in all of midtown Manhattan, where I worked, called Caramba I think. I ate there once — very pricey, even allowing for everything in Manhattan being more expensive, like three or four times what I’d expect to pay for the meal back in California, and the food was very plain and bland. I was astonished.

Eventually I realized that Mexican food was an exotic novelty in Manhattan, not a genuine part of the local mix of cultures. And New Yorkers didn’t seem to be used to spicy food — I remember bringing homemade guacamole to a party in my first months in NYC, and I was feeling apologetic because it had come out a bit on the bland side and if I were at my own apartment I could stir in some more Tabasco or something, but our host didn’t have anything like that in the cupboard. But before I had much opportunity to express my apologies, somebody dipped a chip in the guacamole and took a bite and a moment later starting fanning her mouth and saying, “Wow! That’s got a kick to it!” Everybody loved the guacamole because it was on the hot side but not unbearably so for their tastes, and I had been thinking it was a botch because I could barely taste any heat in it. So I stopped apologizing and just accepted the compliments and figured I’d learned something about cultural differences between So Cal and NYC.

And I also discovered that Indian food, which was pricey and an exotic novelty in Southern California in those days and which I hadn’t eaten much of, was part of the local culture in NYC, and it was all over the place and very inexpensive, even for very good Indian food. So my diet underwent some changes in NYC.

So it turns out that Patrick, who likewise grew up with Mexican food (he’s part Mexican), lived in New York City at the same time I did, and remembered “that horrible place Caramba’s with the god-awful blue margaritas”. He said that the best Mexican he knew of in New York City at the time was in Astoria, Queens, in the back of a pizzeria. My response:

Oh, God, I forgot about the aqua blue margaritas. I never actually had one — an experience in my freshman year of college going out with a few friends and being persuaded to order an “Adios Mama” has caused me to distrust all aqua blue drinks ever since.

I lived in Astoria in ’88 and ’89 but don’t remember any Mexican food. On the other hand, it was my first real experience with Greek food. I lived half a block from a restaurant with a Greek name that translates to something like Papa George’s All-Nightery or Papa George Never Sleeps or something, and one day I got up the courage to go inside. Not a word of English to be seen or heard, including on the menu, which was a chalkboard on the wall. But I became a regular for a while, and the waiters got to know me and stopped wincing when I asked them to translate the chalkboard for me. Though most of the time I got the lamb with spaghetti — anything else, half the time the waiter came back from the kitchen to tell me they were out, but they never ran out of lamb and spaghetti, so after a while I usually just ordered that in the first place — and a glass of retsina.

Most of This Entry Is Not by Me

A debate has arisen on the WELL (yeah, yeah, stop me if you’ve heard this one) about “pride”, and whether it is sensible to be proud of being gay, or black, or white, or a woman, or any other trait that one was born with; or if one should only feel pride at the things one has actually done in one’s life.

I probably set it off. Someone was saying that he’d gotten pounced on by a lot of people on Facebook or some such place, because some other person had said that he was proud of being white, and he (the guy on the WELL) had criticized him. So of course a bunch of other people on the WELL agreed with him that it was ridiculous to be proud of being white. No one had stepped up with a contrary opinion, so I figured I’d be the first.

I have no problem at all with people being proud of who they are, whoever they are. Only when they actually try to impose second-class status on others do they cross my line.

Whites have many things to be proud of. We invented calculus, opera, and the light bulb.

Everybody else who has commented in this thread, both before and since, has been on the other side, agreeing that pride in your culture or the traits you were born with is silly or dangerous or misguided or whatever, but in any case clearly Not A Good Thing.

So I just wrote this over lunch break:

Jon says I should be proud of my writing skills, and indeed I am; however, I would guess that about 98% of what I have written in my life, I would never have written were I not gay. If those things I have written are precious, then equally so is everything that was necessary for them to be written.

Furthermore, how many of those things would I have written were I born into poverty in a third-world country? Or born 5000 years ago, or 100,000 years ago? Or born as a dog? Or as an amoeba? How can I honestly and with integrity be proud of what I have written if that pride depends on the pretense that the traits I was born with had nothing to do with it?

The fact is that anywhere I have gone in my life, I have managed to get to only because the universe spat me into existence nearly the whole way there. I just crawled a little ways further, that’s all. My personal accomplishments are a very tiny part of an organism or machine or whatever inadequate metaphor I want to pin to it, that is vast beyond my powers of comprehension. Anything I have done, this something did nearly all the work and I did just a very little. So to be proud of anything I have accomplished and not also to be proud of being part of that something, and proud that that something happened to bring me into existence at the very time and place and in the very condition that made it possible for me to accomplish those things — that would seem like real egotism to me.

Deer Sighting

While taking a walk on my lunch break through a hilly neighborhood in Belmont, I spotted a deer just walking down the street. Dave thinks maybe it was out looking for water.

Comfort Reading

Since my brain surgery eleven and a half years ago, I’ve suffered from excruciating headaches, though fortunately over time they’ve become less and less frequent, and I now only get them maybe three or four times a year. Usually when I get one I lie down in a hot bath — I’m not sure how much this actually helps the headache, but it’s soothing and it gives me something to do while I wait for the pain medication to kick in.

In theory, it seems like lying there in the tub with my eyes closed ought to be the best thing, but in fact that often just focuses my attention on the pain and makes it seem worse. So I often take a book with me to distract me.

But it’s impossible for me to concentrate on anything when I’ve got a bad headache, so the book has to be what I think of as “comfort reading”, usually something I’ve read many times already and like a lot and can follow and enjoy (or at least enjoy the illusion of following) even if I just let the words wash over me as I read.

Also, it has to be an inexpensive and replaceable paperback, in case I get a little water on it or heaven forbid drop it. There are several books that in theory would be great for this function but I only own them in editions too nice and/or too hard to replace to take the risk.

A couple of weeks ago it was a paperback copy of Anita Loos’s two short novels Gentlemen Prefer Blondes and But Gentlemen Marry Brunettes. The former is a comic masterpiece; the latter is just an OK sequel, but enjoyable enough.

Dave and I watched the movie of GPB last night, too. It’s a lot of fun, and Marilyn Monroe is terrific, but the movie is softer and more conventional than the book and only occasionally gives us glimpses of the untamed Lorelei Lee and Dorothy Shaw as they are in the novels.

Feeling Human Again

I had a bad night last night. Got to bed around 10:30 feeling relatively good, at least in comparison to the last few days. The achiness and sniffles were pretty mild, and I was feeling hopeful that one more good night’s sleep would get rid of them.

But then I woke up at 12:30 a.m. with a really bad headache. I took some painkiller and made myself some echinacea tea and took a hot bath and a lot of the usual routine, and it took till about 3:00 a.m. (which isn’t unusually long-lasting for one of these) to alleviate the headache enough that I could fall asleep with the help of a sleeping pill.

But I let my office know I’d be late (they’re used to my occasional latenesses two or three times a year due to these headaches in the middle of the night) and slept in an extra two hours, and now I’m feeling really pretty good. As I type this, a very mild and foggy remnant of the headache lingers on, and I imagine a cup of coffee or strong tea will take care of that. I’m probably better rested than I’ve been in months, really given how much I’ve slept in the last four days. So, knock wood, I think this bout is over.

Out Cold

I’ve been laid low since Friday by a pretty bad cold — mild but persistent fever, awful achiness and hypersensitivity all over, runny nose. I usually get over this sort of thing in a day with huge doses of vitamin C (1000 mg every hour), painkiller as needed, and sleeping until it goes away. This one, though, has hung on for four days now, despite plenty of the C and plenty of sleep. The fever was finally gone this morning, but I’m still achy all over and still sniffly.

I haven’t accomplished all that much this weekend other than reading in bed (I’m about two-thirds through James Branch Cabell’s Cream of the Jest right now), doing an old Listener puzzle (which I downloaded from the archive after this week’s turned out to be so easily finished), taking baths, drinking hot tea and various fizzy powdered remedies dissolved in hot water, and a lot of napping. I did get it together enough yesterday do get outside for a little bit and do a little laundry and bake a quiche for dinner, but even that little bit of exertion was about all I could manage the whole day.

Dave and I had planned to go back to see Giant Bones one more time this weekend before it closed, but obviously I was in no shape to do that, dammit. I’d really have liked to see it again, but oh well. We did stay up last night and watch Jacques Tati’s last movie, Trafic on DVD. I’m a big fan of Tati’s movies but I’d never seen this one before this; it seemed to me to be one of his weakest, right down there with Jour de Fête. Some funny scenes, but it never really seemed to take off.

Of course, both Jour de Fête and Play Time seemed that way to me the first time I saw each of them, and yet on repeated viewings Jour de Fête never got any better while Play Time now seems to me to be a masterpiece. So who knows, maybe I’ll like Trafic better if I get around to watching it again.

Home Sick

Staying home from work today with a cold and slight fever. As of 1:30 I’m still in bed, having done nothing but alternately sleep and work on today’s Listener puzzle (which I’ve finished). Still achy, so about to roll over and nap some more.

Robins on the Grass

The park near my work, where I walk on my breaks, is unusally active with birds today, mostly robins but also a few sparrows and jays. They’re hopping on the ground and swooping from branch to branch all over the place, more so than usual. Not sure why. Doesn’t look like they’re gathering nesting material or hunting for bugs or anything practical like that, at least not that I can see. Maybe just goofing off and enjoying the nice day.