Never one to shy away from controversy, today President Bush took a bold stand and spoke out firmly against lynching.
Author Archives: dsmarley
And Then There Were Two
I’ve been kind of bummed to see first Kucinich and then Edwards drop out of the race. There’s been a debate online among Billy Club members about whether voting for the candidate you like best is tantamount to wasting your vote and opting out of your social obligation to help decide between the two front runners; or whether voting for the lesser of two front-running evils is still supporting evil. (Being proper northern Californian progressives, of course we have to make out like this is about moral imperatives instead of about just trying to make the best guess you can with extremely limited and imperfect information.)
I’ve been siding with those who think that a primary election is a time to vote your conscience, because it’s the best way to try to get your views represented in the party’s platform, but that a general election is a time to get pragmatic and vote for the one of the two major candidates you dislike least even if there’s a third-party candidate who matches your views perfectly but doesn’t have a prayer of winning.
But with Edwards out of the race I’m out of candidates to vote my conscience with. Clinton and Obama both seem like decent enough people and okay choices and I’ll support whoever gets the nomination, but they both seem a little too much about feeling good about the idea of change and not quite enough about the unpleasant realities that will have to be faced in order to make that change come about. Of course, that’s a big part of why they’re the front runners and Edwards is out.
But hey, either one is so much more decent than any of the Republican candidates. Even the one the press calls a maverick because he’s gone so far out on a limb with his party as to take a stand against the use of Nazi torture techniques.
Cryptic Clue: It Could Make One Hip! (6)
Last week I went and bought myself an iPhone. It’s been a really exhausting couple of months and it’s going to be another month or so before it’s over, and I wanted to give myself a treat. I’ve been saying since the iPhone came out that if it didn’t do the one thing I really want a PDA for, then it wasn’t worth the money to me, and if it did, it was; so far the iPhone doesn’t do it, but Apple is releasing the software developer’s kit next month (rumor has it that some developers already have advance copies), so I’m sure that it will be coming fairly soon and I bought it anyway.
The most important software I have on my laptop is my note-taking and -organizing software. I am a constant note-taker and it would be a huge boon to me to be able to quickly access and even add to my collection of notes without having to take out my laptop and open it up — if I’m in a used book store and I want to get out the list of books I’d like to find, say, or if I’m in the midst of whatever project I’ve been compiling notes for and need to look something up ASAP. Now, if I’m out for a walk and I suddenly want to jot a few ideas down, I carry around a little notebook with me and then later when I’m at my laptop or my desktop I’ll enter my notes into my software; it’s an extra step that it would be convenient to eliminate, but it works and it isn’t all that much of a hassle. But not having access to all my notes unless I’m at my home computer or I’m carrying my laptop is more of a nuisance and it’d be great to find a way to fix that that really works.
I’ve tried all sorts of note-organizing software. My favorite used to be iOrganize, but I encountered some problems with the license number and could never get any response to my repeated emails, so that turned out not to be usable. Then I switched to Sticky Brain, which I liked a lot, and when it was updated and turned into SOHO Notes I gave it a try and continued liking it at first, but then it got sluggish as the database increased, and worse, one day it suddenly stopped recognizing my password to unlock my encrypted notes and so I lost all my organized notes on personal information and had to recompile them, so I don’t feel right trying that again. (Not just me — there are quite a few similar tales of woe with SOHO Notes out there on the Internet.)
I’ve tried MacNoteTaker, which lets you put all your notes in one folder on your computer, which it then syncs with your Palm. You can nest folders all you want and the hierarchy is preserved on your Palm. That’s a pretty handy setup and I was using it for quite a while. I would use TextWrangler to manage the text files on my computers. I like the simplicity of it and I could see myself going back to MacNoteTaker contentedly. But I’ve grown frustrated with the limitations of syncing between the Mac and the Palm in other ways.
One program that I do really love is NoteBook by Circus Ponies Software — it actually looks like a spiral-bound notebook on your screen, and it’s fun to use and has a lot of nice features. I used it for about a year and I still use it for particular things. But over time I became unsatisfied with not being able to open more than one note at once — it’s possible to switch very quickly back and forth among several notes, but still I often wanted to be able to see two or three notes on the screen at the same time. So I looked around some more and found Yojimbo, which is what I use now — I’m typing this entry into it right now, in fact, to be cut and pasted into my blog later. I can open any number of notes at once in separate windows in Yojimbo if I want to, which is very useful sometimes. There are several easy ways to cut and paste something quickly from a website or email message into my notes. I can, for example, just select and drag a URL onto the list of folders and it’ll download and save a copy of the webpage. All very cool and very convenient.
Yojimbo has a few drawbacks, the biggest one for me being that you can’t nest folders of notes within other folders. I’ve got a workaround for it, but it’s still a bit of a nuisance. I like to have all my notes for a project together in a folder, and I don’t like to throw away my notes when the project is complete, because they’re very handy if I start up a similar project later. I would prefer to be able to move all these folders into another folder called “Completed projects”, but I can’t because I can’t nest folders. What I do instead is rename the folder so that it starts with an omega and a date, like “Ω 2006-05 May Day gathering”, and the omega causes it to fall to the end of the list of folders. So I have a very long list of folders overall, but the important, active ones are all up at the top of the list. The completed project folders are gathered at the bottom of the list, sorted by the month and year I finished them, which for me has turned out to be the most useful way to look for them again.
(Omega, which is option-Z on the Mac, is my general symbol for “something I don’t want to get rid of but don’t want to look at, either, so I’m shoving it down at the bottom of the alphabetized list”. I started using it in iTunes as a way to label playlists that I created only to make other more complicated playlists possible, but which I’m never going to play so I don’t want to have to scroll past them over and over again. It proved to be a very useful gimmick and I’ve used it in other contexts like this one.)
I keep hoping that Yojimbo will add nested folders to its functionality in some future update. In the meanwhile, I make do with this workaround. And I do like the program a lot otherwise. One of the coolest features is that my notes sync between my laptop and my desktop at home by way of my .Mac account, so I can add to my notes in either place and the note will soon show up in the other place without my ever having to remember to do anything about it. Sweet.
I also use a terrific little program called Jreepad for my work notes. It’s a Java-based version of Treepad. Jreepad is limited in a lot of ways but the plus for me is that it was created so that a database of notes could open on both Mac and Windows computers. There’s a Windows version of the program and there’s a Mac version, but the notes themselves live in a separate file that you can move around and open in either program. My work notes live on my work computer most of the time, where I can cut and paste into them from email messages and work documents. But if I’m going into a department meeting I can email the file to my .Mac address, take my laptop into the meeting, and be able to refer to my notes and add to them during the meeting. Then after the meeting is over, instead of having to transcribe a lot of handwritten notes onto my computer (which is what I used to do after every meeting), now I can just email the modified file back to my work address and it’s back on my work computer. I also email a copy to my laptop at the end of each workday. The files are small because the notes can only be in plain text, so I just keep the old mail messages for a while and that serves as an easy daily backup.
What I’m hoping for is that as soon as the software developer’s kit for the iPhone is released, Yojimbo will start working on a way to sync notes with the iPhone. That would fulfill what I’ve wanted most from a PDA for a long time now, and my figuring that it has just got to be happening soon now is a big part of why I jumped the gun a bit and bought me an iPhone when it doesn’t currently have that functionality. I have a Palm PDA, and I have The Missing Sync, which does try to sync Yojimbo folders with the Notes function on the Palm. But my experience has been that the sync function is frequently buggy and kind of a nuisance. I’ve just about given up on using my Palm, in fact, because The Missing Sync, though tons better and easier to use than the Palm software for syncing with the Mac, didn’t really clear up all the issues I’d been having with repeated entries showing up in my address book and my calendar, notes not getting synced correctly, and so on. The iPhone is more limited (at least so far) in what it’ll sync — address book, email, and browser bookmarks, mostly, plus things like photos and music that are not very important to me — but it syncs those things effortlessly, and it seems a sure thing that greater functionality will come soon.
There is a program called Webjimbo that lets you keep your Yojimbo notes on a computer that is always connected to the Internet, and then access them or add to them over the ‘Net from other computers, which can include the iPhone. I tried to set it up but Dave and I weren’t all that comfortable with the modifications I would have had to make to the firewall on our home network. There are also free services that let you keep notes online, where any of my computers could access them as long as I’m hooked up to the Internet, but even with a USB modem on my laptop and my iPhone, I’m not always hooked up to the Internet — I spend a lot of time working on my laptop while commuting on BART, for example, and I don’t want to have my access to my notes interrupted every time the train goes underground. So I’m holding out for something that will really put a copy of my notes on my iPhone.
All in all I’m very pleased with the iPhone, which is the best-thought-out cell phone I’ve had by far. I have my wish list like everyone: Faster connection speed seems like a necessity since so many of its functions are web-based (though I do have to remember that it wasn’t so long ago something like this would have seemed very zippy). Personally I’d like the ability to flag and unflag email messages. The impossibility of copying and pasting anything from one application to another is not only frustrating but inexplicable, since cutting and copying and pasting was the foundation of the Mac interface from the beginning. How much more fundamentally unMaclike can you get than not to be able to cut and paste? But rumor is that Apple is working to add that functionality, and the developer’s kit is almost out, and Yojimbo is actively supporting and updating its software all the time. So I’m hopeful that a few months from now I will have the ability to make a note on my iPhone and have it automatically sync to my laptop and vice versa.
Later: After writing all that out, it suddenly occurs to me that a better way of dealing with old project notes may be to export them as text files and clear them out of Yojimbo, as it’s easy enough to import them again when I want to.
Holidays
Dave’s been after me to write a new entry because it’s been a month since the last one. He’s right, really — the whole point of this blog is to keep my writing chops in shape with some informal exercising. But damn, I’ve been busy and feeling pretty drained for a while. Work has been exhausting, with a big many-part project behind schedule and a lot of pressure to catch up, and us still a bit understaffed. I’m trying to concentrate on editing these difficult books on a technical subject I know little about, while every 15 or 20 minutes someone comes by with a question or, worse, something that I have to do immediately that only takes five minutes but breaks my train of thought so that when I come back to what I was working on I have trouble remembering exactly what it was I was in the middle of at the moment I broke off. I have taken to leaving a lot of sticky notes around for myself: “Ck TOC pg nos” or “perms?” to remind myself that I was about to check all the page numbers in the table of contents or do a page-by-page pass through the galleys to make sure that my list of what figures and tables are reprinted or adapted from other copyrighted sources — in others words, those things we need to be sure we have obtained permission to use before we put the galleys in final form — isn’t missing anything.
The holiday season was nice, though to some extent I spent a lot of it just crashing. I took a few vacation days so that I could be away from Christmas to New Year’s — an 11-day weekend — and it took me seven or eight of those days before I really felt rested and recharged. And then of course I get back to work and things are just as intense as I left them. I will be extremely relieved when the last of these eight books is off to the printer.
My holidays were good all the same, I just could have used a few more days of them. Christmas Eve was spent at a dinner table of in-laws, Dave’s mother and middle brother and his wife. I used to find holidays with Dave’s family harder to deal with, but with age I have realized that it is much easier to deal with someone else’s dysfunctional family than your own. It’s easier to learn how not to take things personally, not to let things cross my own boundaries. I suppose perhaps the next step ought to be to take that practice and apply it to my own family. Can one learn to be with one’s own family as lightly as if it were somebody else’s, not having any expectations, not taking any disapproval to heart, and confident that when it’s time to go home you won’t be taking any of the leftover angst home with you?
Christmas Day was pretty quiet, which is how I like it. Christmas was one of the most horrible three days of the year for me when I was growing up (the other two were Easter and Thanksgiving), and nowadays I’d be happy just spending it with Dave and maybe a couple of friends. I’d even be perfectly happy to spend it by myself, staying in bed and reading or playing computer games all day. Big holiday gatherings wear me down too easily. For Christmas this year, Dave and I were just going to do lunch and a movie with his mother (his brother and sister-in-law were going to spend Christmas Day with her family, which Dave’s mother didn’t want to do), but then the night before Dave had the idea of offering to drive his mother to Davis — an hour and a half away — to visit her mother’s grave, which she hadn’t been able to visit in nearly two years. She’s Chinese-American, born in China, and that’s an important thing in Chinese culture. Me, I can’t even remember where any of my grandparents are buried and my last visits to their graves coincided with the days on which they took occupancy.
Then dinner for just the three of us in a really good Chinese restaurant on Solano Avenue in Berkeley, Kirin. Dave’s mother seemed determined to find faults in everything about the restaurant until the food came, at which point she stopped finding nits to pick, so we must have picked a good place. And I seem to have accumulated a bushel of Good Son-in-Law points that day. Dave pointed out to me later than some of what his mother had said over dinner, she never would have said in front of me if she didn’t feel I was family. Well, that’s what he says anyway. I still don’t really know enough about Chinese culture to notice all the indicators, and Dave often has to translate for me.
Thursday after Christmas I left for a Billy Club gathering in the redwood country a few hours’ drive north of San Francisco. The Billys are a partly social, partly spiritual group that holds five or six of these gatherings each year. I got a bad headache on Thursday morning and drove up a bit queasy from all the Vicodin and coffee I’d swallowed in order to dull it (unfortunately I’m not one of those people who gets a pleasant high from Vicodin; it just upsets my stomach, though that’s still better than hurting). It was still lingering mildly by Friday morning but by Friday evening it was finally gone and I slept well.
I was in charge of creating and leading the rituals this time around, which was a lot of fun and kept me connected with others. But I also spent a lot of the time by myself, reading or writing or just napping. We’d created a lounge in one of the cabins by spreading out mattresses and a hundred or so pillows and cushions around, and draping fabric on the walls. It was cozy and warm and I spent a lot of time there, writing in my journal or napping in a corner or chatting with a friend.
Leading the rituals was a great experience for me and I learned some stuff. Mostly though this gathering for me was less about doing stuff and more about retreating and restoring myself. I got back New Year’s Day.
Another Piece of the Puzzle Falls Into Place
So a few days ago I woke up around five in the morning with an idea how to make the scene work. I heard Dave stir next to me, and I said to him, “What if at the beginning the Astrologer is very serious and upright and proper, and only concerned about the oracles and geomancy and trying to figure out what it is that the gods want, but as soon as he gets to pretend for a while that he’s royalty, he starts flirting with every pretty young woman he sees and invites them all to come to this banquet that was just supposed to be for a few people?” And Dave groggily said “Ha!” and then rolled over and fell back asleep. That was enough of a positive reaction, though, to reassure me that it wasn’t just my imagination, that this was indeed the kind of comic reversal that would make the scene work.
Later that day I played around with the idea some more and realized that this plot twist also (a) gave me a usable character trait around which to start developing the character of the Astrologer, who had been a blank to me, and (b) solved a problem I was having with the end of the first act, as it gives the unexpected guest at the banquet a plausible explanation for her being there that everyone else will buy. This is the kind of serendipity that I think of as a sign that I’m on the right track. Sweet.
(A character I’m writing doesn’t seem to take life to me until I’ve found some kind of internal contradiction in his or her personality, which might for example be that he or she is torn between wanting two incompatible things, or as in this case having some element of hypocrisy, whether consciously or not, in his or her nature. For me, finding that contradiction marks the turning point where the character stops feeling to me like a pawn I’m pushing around to make the plot work and starts feeling like there’s a spark of life in him or her, something I can work with and build on.)
How Times Flies When You’re Having Headaches
Today is the ninth anniversary of the brain surgery that saved my life.
Wisdom of the East
I have a text file of Part I of the Wilhelm/Baynes I Ching on my laptop, for when I want to throw the coins for the Yijing (which is pinyin for I Ching) on the go. The section for each hexagram starts with the name of the hexagram in Chinese, followed by the English translation that Wilhelm and Baynes gave it. The file for thunder over heaven, for example, begins
34. Ta Chuang / The Power of the Great
So I’m doing the preliminary work on a possible new project, another opera adaptation. I’m having some trouble seeing how to adapt a number about halfway through the first act to my purposes, and so I thought I’d throw the coins this morning to see if it might lead to some ideas. I threw heaven over water, and the file for that hexagram begins
6. Sung / Conflict
Not a very helpful reading (I mean, what did the Yijing think I was going to put in the scene, five minutes of group hug?), but you won’t find a much better description of what makes for a good opera than sung conflict.
Later: A few lines from the oracle for the one moving line in the hexagram were actually uncannily relevant, though in terms of describing the scene in the originally rather than helping me find the drama in it for my version:
Nine in the second place means:
One cannot engage in conflict;
One returns home, gives way.
The people of his [her] town,
Three hundred households,
Remain free of guilt.
The scene in question, in the original libretto at least, does in fact hinge precisely on whether the central character will go somewhere, and she does in fact give way and remain at home, so it’s neatly appropriate. The Chinese third person pronoun is neutral in gender and can mean he, she, or it, so the last sentence could refer to a woman as easily as a man. (Nowadays the three words are written with three different characters, but that’s a 20th-century reform.) Here’s Wilhelm’s commentary:
In a struggle with an enemy of superior strength, retreat is no disgrace. Timely withdrawal prevents bad consequences. If, out of a false sense of honor, a man allowed himself to be tempted into an unequal conflict, he would be drawing down disaster upon himself. In such a case a wise and conciliatory attitude benefits the whole community, which will then not be drawn into the conflict.
This is a fair description of the situation in the original libretto, but in my version of the story, as it’s unfolding, I think I want to flip it around so that the central character insists on staying at home even though the people around her are trying to persuade her to go someplace with them. That seems to be what has to happen in order to make the characterization and the situation work as I’ve been sketching it out so far, but I haven’t found a way to make it quite work in this scene.
It’s Rough on the Kids, of Course, but Nobody Said Life Was Fair
According to the New York Times, teen pregnancies are up for the first time since 1991, leading some to question whether the Bush administration’s $176-million-per-year abstinence-only sex ed programs are working. One doctor is quoted as saying,
Spending tens of million of tax dollars each year on programs that hurt our children is bad medicine and bad public policy.
Seems to me that this erroneously assumes that the goal of the programs is to reduce the number of teen pregnancies. I mean, come on, think about who we’re dealing with here. The purpose of the programs is to punish teens who have sex. If teen pregnancies are up, then the programs are working.
No Country for Old Men
Dave and I saw the latest Coen brothers movie a week or so ago. It’s very like Fargo in a lot of ways, so if you liked that and you don’t mind the resemblances, you’ll like this, too. It’s a grisly and intensely suspenseful thriller about a lot of people who are chasing after a suitcase full of money that disappeared from a drug deal that went very wrong. As in Fargo, the various schemes go wrong over and over again with violently bloody consequences, while a likeable rural police officer tries to catch up.
A lot of thrillers that get labeled “Hitchcockian” don’t seem to me to be any such thing except in the most superficial ways; a lot of movie reviewers seem to think that “Hitchcockian” is just a fancy synonym for “suspenseful”. But No Country for Old Men struck me as using a lot of genuinely Hitchcockian storytelling techniques and Hitchcockian touches. Hitchcock wouldn’t have indulged in anything like as much stage blood, but No Country often builds up suspense by the same sort of understated steps that Hitchcock liked to use. In some ways I was reminded of Frenzy, another rather misanthropic thriller that plays some disturbing games with the viewer’s sympathies.
Pa Rum Pa Pum Pum
Oh man, already with the Christmas music. From now until Christmas, the same 22 songs, played over and over and over again.
And not even proper Christmas carols, which would get irritating with enough repetition but at least not quite so quickly. I like a lot of Christmas carols, they have some weight to them, some meaning. But stores don’t want to play a lot of music with specific religious associations — and very rightly so — so what they give us instead is winter novelties, trivial jolly crap like Jingle Bells and Santa Claus is Coming to Town and Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, stuff that would be dumb but fun if you only had to put up with it one day a year but which is mind-numbing when for five or six weeks you hear it every time you venture out into public.
(This year I heard my first Christmas music the day after Halloween. I was taking the casual carpool into San Francisco and the driver had it on the radio. Argh! Trapped! I was never so grateful for light traffic and a quick trip across the bridge as I was that morning.)
Hating both crowds and Christmas music, I try to cut my shopping to a minimum in November and December. There are a couple of things I actually need to pick up from Target this weekend and I am dreading doing it and really wondering if I can do without them till after the New Year. Probably not. Ugh.