So if American voters have so turned against your party that even electronic vote tampering may not be enough to pull your fat out of the fire, what can you do?

Well, you could try setting up your electronic voting machines so that they’ll leave the party affiliations off the candidate’s names.

(Just be sure to blame it on something else, like nobody expecting in their wildest dreams that any of the candidates might have more than ten letters in their names.)

I mean, come on, some voting machine manufacturers slipped new (and secret) vote-tallying programs into their machines on the very day of the elections two years ago, but they can’t change a font size because two weeks isn’t enough time to do the reprogramming?